Follower Friday - Reader Submissions 15

Here's a lil reminder...some clients just CAN'T be told everything you do for them. Fabulous stylist, mistaking her client for an educated client...discussed her work while styling: "This time your low lights are still looking good, so we didn't need to redo those, so I broke your base and threw some nice highlights up on top to blend that base in." Client only heard "no need to redo low lights"....and texts me (the person who does her lashes) on Sunday morning...at 5:45a.m. multiple texts ranting about how her hair looks like she did it herself--it's "all the same color, no variation"... Wrong on soooo many levels! Sunday? 5:45am? (get a life!) I am not your hair stylist!

I did not reply...Sunday is my sacred day and I do not do business that day. Sunday night at 8:30 I get another long rambling set of texts...and copies of the same texts she'd sent to the stylist. Holy crap! I waited til the next day (still my day off...but still....) to say that the stylist is extremely talented and I am sure she used her professional eye to be sure the color looked great, but if your eye is not pleased, I am sure she will be happy to tweak it. Sheesh!
******
Phone Conversation: Me: What days/times are you available?
Client: Any day after 4:00.
Me: How about today at 4:30?
Client: No it's my mother's birthday
Me: How about tomorrow at 5:00?
Client: No, I have kick boxing.
Me: How about Friday at 3:30?
Client: No I have to get my car inspected on Friday.

WHAT PART OF THE QUESTION DID SHE NOT UNDERSTAND????
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You work the same days and times each week.  Your children are adults.  Why do they need to call you 10 plus times a day.  It's ridiculous.  If it's an emergency, have them call the salon, shut your ef'n phone off!!!!!!
Laziness is not a becoming quality to have.


I am sorry that you don't like the color that you have on, that you decided an hour later that you can live any longer if it is on your toes.  You picked it.  I will not redo it for free.  Choose you color more wisely next time.


People who can't take constructive criticism, or can't be open to suggestions will not have a clientele for long.


I AM A CLIENT!  I am sick and tired of you talking on your cell phone while you are doing my nails.  "I" am paying for your time.  I am not paying you to talk on the phone and multi-task by doing my nails.  It's incredibly rude and I am not going to put up with it again.  The next time you answer your phone, I am going to pull my hands away and  give you privacy for your phone call.  You can continue working on me when you end your call.


Why can some people not see how incredibly filthy their station is.  Just take a few minutes to clean your station.  It makes a world of difference.


Some need to quit making excuses for their client's nails being a mess when they come in.  If it was one or two clients, you can blame them for not taking care of them.  When nearly all of your clients are a mess, it's time to start looking at yourself.  YOU are the problem.  You need to figure out what you are doing wrong and correct it.  Stop passing the buck onto the client.


I am so glad we got WiFi in the salon.  Now some are doing even less than they did before.  Instead of doing things that need to be done like returning phone calls or restocking things, we are playing games.  Lovely.


If you don't want that string, hair, fuzzie or whatever it is that you are picking off of yourself, on your body, I sure as hell don't want it on my floor.  Throw it in the trash.


A COWARD is someone who posts on Facebook with passive aggressive, cryptic status messages.  Grow a pair.
Those who criticize others are usually lacking in the same areas that they are criticizing in.


Those shortcuts that you are taking to do the client as fast as you can, so you can get on FB are going to bite you in the ass in two weeks.


I am so sorry that I filled your two hour gap with a full set of nails and bling toes.  I guess you didn't want the $120 in services, you wanted to go run errands.  Are you here to work or not?  Now if you were still open, you would be bitching that you had gaps.  I can't win.  Do you want to work or not????

Follower Friday - Reader Submissions 14

Is it really necessary to call six times about a simple manicure and pedicure appointment over three weeks.  THEN, call and cancel that appointment the day of the appointment.  Why did you waste all of our time on all of those phone calls only for you to cancel.  Go someplace else next time.

I am really sick and tired of people asking for one service and booking it and when they get in your chair, they want something totally different than what you discussed on the phone.  Are people drinking stupid juice?

Thank you so much for coming in for a full set of nails on with NSS “Shellac” already on your nails and not letting us know you had it on and it needs to be removed.  You have colored gel on your nails, which we finally figured out 30 minutes into your appointment when it would not soak off.

Person leaves a message, we call back and leave a message, person calls back to confirm message, we have to call back again, person calls back to confirm message again.  How about you listen to the message and understand it.  No need for all these unnecessary messages and call backs.

Do you really think we can discuss nail options via text???

So, you thought your appointment was at 2, when it was at noon, yet the text you received, and that you agreed to, clearly states noon.  But this was a misunderstanding?  Um, no, it’s a no show and you owe a fee.

I love when things grow legs and run away in the salon, without anyone seeing it.

Reader Submissions 14

oh oh oh I have one.... no you can not buy a jar of the acrylic powder(custom blended colour that I made up because you didn't like any of the existing 5 colour options for your nail bed) from me so that if you go to another tech you will have the colour you love.  I'm not the only one who has noticed your negative attitude about everything either- we've had clients ask not to be booked in for their hair or nail appointments when you are in for an appointment because your moaning gave them a headache.  Yes I realise I am moaning now but I'm about to go to work to do your nails, then a deluxe pedi and then your waxing- I have you for the next 2-3 hours *shudders* 

So it's okay for you to move your appointment around constantly, but it's not okay for me to be sick and have to stay home in bed?

Please quit bathing in your perfume.  You smell like a French whore and you make everyone in the salon sick when you come in.

Flush the toilet.  You are not five.

When a client comes in and is totally going on and on about how horrible their last salon was, it makes me want to never rebook them because it's just a matter of time before I am the subject of that same story.

If you have been to four different salons and had problems with your nails, what makes you think I have a magic wand to make things successful?  After FIVE different techs work on you, it is obvious that YOU are the problem.

I cringe when I hear my co-worker ask "Do you want change back?"  Never ask for a tip.  Just give the person their change and let them give you a tip if they want to.  Worse is when she takes a credit card and asks "Do you want to put a tip on here?"   There are much better ways to handle these things.

Pretend manicurists are really starting to piss me off.

Hey crazy, take your crazy and find someone else to put up with your crazy.

Manufacturers - You REALLY need to make your items acetone resistant!  We use acetone for crying out loud.  I am sick to death of paying top dollar for your stuff only to have it ruined by a tech that is sloppy with her acetone.

Thank you big, expensive, nail manufacturer for charging me an arm and a leg for a brush, that all of the hairs fall out and then tell me that I didn't take care of it right.  I've been doing nails for 10 years and never had a problem with a brush like this.

Reader Submissions 13

You are not all that.  You may think you are, but you are not.  Anyone can be anyone they want online and it is clear that you are not what you think you are.  So take your holier than thou attitude and shove it up your ass.  Go do some nails and quit trying to tell people what to do all of the time.  Maybe if you were busier at your nail table you wouldn’t have all this extra time to be all up in everyone else’s business. 

Why do my client’s misbehave when I am off sick and one of the other girls in the salon does their nails?  They wouldn’t come in 30 minutes late with me and expect me to do their nails, why do they expect others?  I am ticked.

How many family emergencies before you finally say to someone that this is too many, you need to pay the late cancellation fee.  They find out that emergencies give you slack so they use that each and every time.

Why don’t nail companies answer their emails?

Hey OPI, your Gel Color sucks ass.  Just like your polish did.  I can’t believe people buy this crap.

Some people need to take their nose out of the air.  We all wipe our butts the same way.  You are not better than me.

I am sickened by how many people think that they can eat at their nail appointment.

Thank you to the inconsiderate jerk who shared their sickness with me.  We don’t get sickdays when we are self-employed.  Next time, reschedule your appointment when you are sick.

Too many people lie to your face.  Why can’t you just admit you did something wrong.  It will gain you more respect, admitting it, than you do by lying to cover it up.

I’m sorry, I know it’s trendy, but putting nail foil on your lips makes you look trashy and like you are trying too hard.  It’s NAIL FOIL that you can get for $1 at Dollar Nail Art! 

Please remove your 999 bottles of juice, that are half filled in the salon fridge.  It’s a shame when we can’t put anything in there because you have a years supply of daily bottles in there.  Other people work here too.

If you can’t afford your nail appointment, don’t make one.  NO we can’t do your nails today and have you pay next week.  Also, don’t tell us this after we have finished your service.  Please do not call to rebook.

Follower Friday - Reader Submissions 12

You are one of two clients, who still wear polish.  I don’t want to hear how your sister’s polish lasts forever, she is wearing gel polish, which you refuse to use.  Go take the walk of shame to the back of the salon, where the polish is.

One day, I am going to go and use the stylist’s hair scissors to open a package.  That will serve them right.  Maybe they will respect my tools then.

What the hell kind of names are Red 101 and Blue 102?  Did your creative department quit on you?

Dear Client:  We have been hearing about your marital troubles for over a year now.  If you aren’t going to leave him, we really don’t have the patience to be sympathetic any longer.

I am so sick and tired of the hairdressers in my salon getting their nails done at the chop shops.  That doesn’t promote me at all.  I am going to get my hair done at SuperCuts from now on.

So, it was a mutual agreement?  They didn’t fire you?  Right…….

1990 called and they want your nails back.

Why do so many people waste time trying to recreate things.  Why not just use what you already have available to you?

I have seen ridiculous statements made by both political sides.  I am sick of reading it.  You people are ridiculous if you 100 percent believe the side that you back.

Sometimes, it takes all I can do, to not reach out and smack you in the head.  You annoy me. 

Follower Friday - Reader Submissions 11

Newborns do not need an appointment for a mani/pedi.  EVER.

Why must smokers litter our parking lot with their cigarette butts?  Why can't they use the container, provided to them for that purpose?

Sticking your fingers, into your mouth, right before I put gel on them contaminates them.  Do you really think that it's a good idea to do that?

I am sick and tired of people calling at the last minute to say that they can't come to their appointment.  Did they just find out about the scheduling conflict?  I don't think so.  People are rude.

Just Sayin' - Every time you use that phrase, I want to hit you.  In the head.  With a 2 x 4.  Just Sayin' ;o)

Passive aggressive people, especially on Facebook, piss me off.  You really got some Cyber Balls.  I bet you are a coward in real life.

Pay your rent on time, pay your rent on time, pay your rent on time.  PLEASE.  I have bills too!

People need to concern themselves with their own life and their own businesses and stay out of others lives and businesses.  If they put as much energy into their business as they do in meddling, they would have a salon that didn't warrant worrying what others are doing.

I really hope you don't get a lot of these everyday cause I need help :)! I am a newly licensed nail tech. I do acrylics but I want to master nails!  I want to learn gel, and shellac.  Where can I get info (besides you tube) that do tutorials, nail shows or classes, or ways to help me build clientele ( I currently am doing booth rental  and it is killing me) I don't have any clientele yet except the people I work with! Do you know of any classes near Norfolk, VA.   Sincerely,  Confused  Newbie!!

Follower Friday - Reader Submissions 10

It's been awhile since we've had some reader submissions.  I have stockpiled them and here's the latest.  REMEMBER, these are from a lot of other people, so please do not dog on me for bitching, whining and being negative.  This is "Everything you always wanted to say, but couldn't".  --Nancy

As stupid as you look when you make that stupid "kissy face" in all of your photos, you sound even more stupid when you talk like a Valley Girl and you live on the east coast.  Stop dumbing yourself down.  You are giving women and young girls a bad rap.

Don't you just love when you and three of your co-workers are slammed with clients and the one tech, that is either ahead of schedule or had a no show just sits there surfing the Internet, while there are phone calls to be returned, the phone is ringing off of the hook and people are walking in wanting to purchase things?  Maybe if you got off your ass and off the Internet, maybe you would have a client in your chair.

My client that is missing three fingers on one hand doesn't ask for a discount, why should you?

Shellac didn't ruin your nails, YOU DID when you picked it all off, when it is easily removed with acetone, even by you.

Listen carefully.  It is called O.P.I.  Three letters.  It's not Opie.  He was a small boy with an Aunt Bee.

I'm sorry, coming in six weeks later with seven nails missing isn't a FILL it is called a FULL SET.

We realize that WalMart has brought back lay-away for the hoidays, however, we are not WalMart, therefore, payment is expected at the time of your service.

Hey you, with the gift certificate that you won, that we donated to an organization to give to you:  Why must you always want more?  Isn't the ONE service of your choice enough?  Oh, no?  You want two and one for your sister too.  Greed kills.

For the love of everything good, WIPE YOUR FEET!  Do you really think we want your muddy shoes stomping all over our carpet.  I can't imagine what your home looks like!

If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat!  Women are HOGS in the bathroom.

Put the phone down!  Put the phone down!  Put the phone down!  The world will not end if you can't touch your phone for an hour.

If you use it up, refill it, if you break it, fix it, if it is empty, refill it, if it drops, pick it up, if it is out of place, put it back, if you dirty it, clean it.  It's really not rocket science.

What is it with people who think that positive things should be written about on here?  The mantra of this site is "Everything you always WANTED to say, but couldn't"  How does all the things you love about this industry fall into this category.  Quit your bitching and if you don't like it don't read it.  You are pathetic.  You probably live alone with a cat.

I see new educators trying so hard to impress people.  Way too hard.  It's actually kind of painful to watch.  If you have to put that much effort into it, maybe you aren't cut out for the job.

To all the judgmental bitches out there who make snide remarks about others who post photos of nails, that they don't think are perfect, where are YOUR photos for US to critique.  Just what I thought.  Shut the fuck up then.

Follower Friday - Reader Submissions 9

If I had it to do all over again, I would never open a salon.  I would just work for someone else and do my clients and go home.

Some days I really want to go in and say "I quit!", but then remember that I own the place.

Dear client – if you are going to Facebook  me for an appointment the same day, YOU NEED TO CHECK for a reply from me!!!   How many times have I responded to such a request within the hour, many times within minutes, to let you know available times, only to never hear back from you!  Or to hear back after that space in my book is long gone.  Or after I’ve closed for the day.  And no, I can’t magically make time appear again.  If it’s that important that you need to get in ASAP then it’s important enough to pick up the phone and call me.    I don’t care if your Blackberry doesn’t show you the Facebook messages.  YOU initiated the contact via Facebook, so YOU need to check for a reply.


Some people really are full of themselves, especially on Facebook.  Are you really that fabulous or do you just THINK you are.


When YOU don't do YOUR job, you create more work for OTHERS.  Do your job.  Everyone else is!


This is a salon, not a snack bar.


Thank you so much for putting back an EMPTY pot of gel.  It's like going to the refrigerator and seeing an empty milk carton.  How can we order it if we don't know you used the last of it?


It joys me so that I have to stop working on a client to wait on another client that came in the door while you sit there and surf the net in the other room.

Follower Friday - Reader Submissions 8

If you are going to ask question after question, asking the next one before I've even started answering the first one, I am just going to be quiet and let you get it all out of your system.  It's obvious you aren't listening to the answers anyway.  I need to be concentrating on your service, not trying to figure out what you are asking in you ADD kind of ways.

When you are late, you make me run late for the rest of the day.  I will not punish those after you who are ON TIME, by starting them late.  Sorry, but your appointment ends when it was scheduled to end.  If I am not finished, sorry, next time be on time.

The bathroom light was off and the door was open when you went in.  Why must you always leave the light on and close the door when you leave?  Don't you realize this makes people think someone is in there???

Seriously, if you break it, fix it or at least tell someone it's broke.  Don't leave it for someone to find later.

If you don't instruct your new clients on home care, don't be pissed off when they come back a mess.

Short cuts that you take today will lead to long detours in two weeks.

To the techs that boast "My nails NEVER lift".  I would like to call you a big, fat, hairy liar.  Everyone has at least one problem client that lifts.  I officially call bullshit on you.

When someone is taking the time to mentor you, you should listen to them.  They shouldn't have to say the same things to you over and over, some of which, you should already know.

Gel polish didn't ruin your nails.  YOU ruined them when you peeled the stuff off even when it obviously didn't want to come off.

If you are a tech and you are still doing pink and whites with 1/4 inch pink and 1/2 inch white, you need to take some damn continuing education classes because that just isn't right.  Do you really think that enhances the nail??????

Why am I still trying to find something that I ordered on October 10 and have tried online help, emailed and called the company.  Last Friday I was told that it would be shipped out.  Here it is a week later and still nothing.

A manicure is a manicure, it is NOT a full set of acrylic nails.  Why would you think otherwise?

Follower Friday – Reader Submissions 7

You are a grown woman, who works in a professional position, with a lot of responsibility.  Why, oh why, must I call and remind you of each and every appointment you have.  Do all of your business partners have to do that too?  I even give you a little card each time with the day, date and time on it.  Put that in your schedule on your tablet and set an alarm for cripes sakes.

No, it is not okay if you are going to be 15 minutes late, so when you come in only 5 minutes late, please know what the hell you want on your nails because I don't have time to sit and let you wast 10 more minutes picking out what you want.  COME EARLY TO CHOOSE.

Dear New Girl at the salon:  You are never going to get better unless you practice.  Skills don't just magically appear, you need to hone them.

Why to people think we want to sell their crap in our salons.  I can understand if you are a client and have something wonderful that you make, but random men coming in with stuff is just not going to happen.

Oh here, let me squirt some hand sanitizer on your wrist, where you just wiped your runny nose for the 10th time.  Gross.

You have a coupon for a free service that we donated for a charity event.  It's FREE, why the hell are you wanting more and more and more from us?  GO AWAY.

If you have to reschedule an appointment more than three times, maybe you need to consider going to a walk-in only type of salon.

We are not open on Mondays.  We are not open on Mondays.  We are not open on Mondays, will you please quit asking for an appointment on Mondays.

I just love when people ruin something and just leave it without trying to fix it or at least letting me know what happened so that "I" can fix it.  You need to have respect for your workplace.

Dear Trainee:  Please listen.  I have literally been telling you the same things over and over and over for months.  If you don't start listening, I am sorry to say, you are going to be gone, really soon.

We have over 200 colors to choose from and you can't find the one you want?

WIPE YOUR FEET!  I am sick to death of muddy footprints on the carpet.  What the hell does your house look like?

What part of I am busy with a client do you not seem to grasp?  I can't just stop doing her service to listen to your sales pitch.

I'm sorry, what part of Nail Salon makes you think I can trim your beard?

Sorry, we don't use credo blades, they are illegal.  I am sorry that your last tech used one on you and you liked it, go back to her so when you loose your foot some day, you can sue her.

Reader Submissions 6

I think my co-worker needs to remind her children that Mommy is working and that they don’t need to call her every five minutes asking how to make macaroni and cheese.  15 phone calls in a three hour period is too much.  How does she keep her clients?

I tried to offer to write your appointment down on a card for you, you insisted on writing it down yourself, it’s not my fault you wrote down the wrong day.

Dear Client:  I love you, but seriously, you’ve been having distress over the same things for seven years.  It’s time to either suck it up or move on.  Grow a backbone, I am tired of hearing it!

Thank you smokers for littering my parking lot with your cigarette butts.  You lazy asses are too lazy to use the receptacle provided.

If you are so sick, that you need to stop your appointment to go throw up, you probably should have rescheduled your appointment.  You do realize that if “I” get sick, I don’t have sick days or pay…..

What part of wash your hands before we begin do you not understand?  You’ve been a client here for years.

Why do people think it’s okay to put full coffee cups into the trash?  Do you do that at home?  I would bet that your husband or father takes out the trash and is pissed off at you like I am because there is a sloppy wet coffee trail all over the floor.  Jerk.

Why do boyfriends come to nail appointments?  It’s obvious they don’t want to be there.  Grow a pair and insist that your girl go to her appointment alone like a big girl.

Screaming and yelling and throwing a hissy fit will no make an appointment time on the date and time you want just appear.  Actually, it will most likely make “future appointments” disappear.

Dear Client:  You’re fired.

You want appointments, you don’t, you whine that you aren’t busy enough then bitch because someone scheduled you an appointment.  Make up your freaking mind.

If you think this is so easy, go ahead, go out on your own and do your own thing.  I did.  No it’s not easy, but I won’t take your bullshit.  This is MY house!

Parents really need to reel these young girls in.  It is not necessary for your first grader to have a full set of acrylics.  At that rate, you will be getting them breast implants in fifth grade.  Grow a backbone and be a parent.  YOU are supposed to be in charge!

YOU insisted that I add more of the first color, now you don’t like it because there isn’t enough of the second color.  I do this all day long, when will you realize, I know what I am doing!!!

I really wish we had those alcohol dispensers like they have in motel rooms in Mexico, where the bottles hang upside down and you press your glass to a lever and it dispenses.  I think we need that in the break room, so we can just walk up, stick our mouths under, press the lever and get instant Asshole Relief!

Reader Submissions 5

What makes you think that being 17 minutes late is acceptable?  Yes you are my last client of the evening, but you are delaying my trip home by 17 minutes and I have a 40 minute drive home.  You are new to our salon.  This is NOT acceptable.

Dear Obsessive Boyfriend:  If you wanted your girl to have a style/color of nails that you saw at another salon, why didn't you book her an appointment with that salon?  Also, why are you telling this grown woman how to have her nails done?

Dear Submissive Girlfriend:  Don't you have a brain to think for yourself?  Can't you make your own decisions?  Why are you letting a bully tell you what to do on your nails.  If he is this obsessive with your nails I can't imagine how he is with the more important things in life.  Are you sure you want to marry this guy?

Seriously, if you call a salon and expect to get an appointment, the same day and at the exact time you want (usually 5:00), don't you just wonder WHY that appointment is available?  Any good nail tech will be booked that time and if they did get a cancellation, it is usually scooped up immediately.  Is your procrastination really worth going to someone who isn't busy for obvious reasons?  I pity your nails.

So, you have been planning this wedding for how long?  You've had your dress for how long?  The hall?  The cake?  The flowers?  Your hair appointment?  You just figured you would call two days before your wedding and get an appointment for you and your seven bridesmaids????!?  You, my dear, are on crack.

I love this blog.  I actually keep a little notepad now and write down all the things I really wanted to say in the salon, all day long.  This is so helpful and it is nice to see that others experience the same things!  Thanks Nancy!!!  You rock!

If your kids put paper towels in the toilet again, you are plunging it.

Seriously????  It takes you ten nails, two coats to finally realize you don't like the color?  Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It's just nail polish.  There's no crying over nails, people!

You've been sitting there for 15 minutes, I've asked you three times if you have looked to see what color you want.  Why is it now 10 minutes into your appointment, 25 minutes since you've walked in the door and you still can't decide what you want????

It's one nail appointment.  Is it necessary for mom, grandma, three brothers and a BFF to come with you?  We don't have room for all of these people!

For the love of God!!!  Put your cell phone down!  Also, I love the fact that there is pocket lint all over your gel nails from you digging into your pocket to get that damn phone.

I am sorry you had to go three weeks between fills due to your schedule.  I don't appreciate you trying to "Help" my by filing the regrowth area.  You now have rings of fire that I DID NOT DO!  OMG!!!  I just want  to slap you right now!

Reader Submissions 4

I would like to tell my roommate that her station is a pig's stye.  You are too lazy to move the things on your station to clean it and you just wipe the open areas.  People can see the filth on the sides.  People can see the sticky, dirty fingerprints on the sides of your UV light.  I can't understand how they aren't skeeved to put their hands in that light, I mean how hard is it to wipe the bottom each day, if not after every client.  How do you keep clients?

If you use the last of something, please let someone know so that it can be replaced.  It isn't going to appear like magic!

When taking a phone message, if the person gives you important information like what type of appointment they want or what day or time of day they need, WRITE IT DOWN, don't just give me a paper with the name and number on it.  I seem like an idiot when I call them back unprepared!

Everyone needs to quit bitching about Facebook!  How dare they change anything for the better on your when you are paying a whopping $0 for the service they provide!

I don't understand how some people complain about getting a cancellation and then when you fill that spot for them, then they complain that you did.  Are you working or aren't you????  Make up your mind!

You know, if you do a half assed job this week, you will have a hard week in two weeks.  Just suck it up and do a good job all of the time.

I am sorry, I don't have time to do repairs on your clients.  You need to step it up and do a better job and actually come to work so that if your client needs repairs, you can fix them.  If I am fixing them, I am charging them.

Talking on your cell phone or texting while you service a client is RUDE.  You don't like it when client's do it, so don't do it to them.  Nothing is so important than it can't wait until between clients.  These are not emergency texts or calls.

I don't want to hear about your sex life, your bodily functions, your political views or your religious views.  Please keep all of the above to yourself.

Reader Submissions 2

You can't be a salon owner and only work two days a week, two hours a day.  That's four clients a week and you say you are fully booked?  Give me a break!  You aren't fully booked, you are LAZY!

Dear Industry Know It Alls:  Stop telling me what I need to do to be successful, I am making my own success.  I don't care that you won competitions and practice every day.  I have a life besides work.  I don't want to enter them and just because I don't doesn't mean you are better than I am.

Dear OCD client, please do not inspect your nails until I am completely finished with them. When I am working on one hand, I can see you holding up the other to within 2 cm of your nose out of my peripheral vision. You twist and turn it back and forth until I want to throw my file at you. STOP IT !!

Dear client, please stop anticipating where I’m going next. I don’t need you to turn your finger for me, I can do that all by myself. I know you’re really trying to be helpful and all, but just relax and let me do my job. 

Dear client, no, I don’t cut healthy cuticles, period. Really? Yes, REALLY. I’m not going to back down and cave in, so you can get your ass out of my chair right now and stop wasting my time. Stop acting like this is a life or death matter. They are just cuticles. They won’t grow fangs and bite you. 

Dear new client, you’ve been on my website so you know my salon is in my home. Please do not show up unannounced in the hopes that I’m working on some client so you can ‘see’ what I do. Why would my client want some stranger gawking at her nails? Why do you think I’m going to stop what I’m doing and just answer the door and bring you in? 

Dear new client, you’ve been on my website so you know you need to make alternate arrangements for child care. Why then do you arrive with your child, 40 minutes early for your appointment? And why do you not have anything with you to keep your child occupied? More importantly, why didn’t I boot your ass out the door?

Dear Facebook nail tech, why do you post pictures of other people’s work on your page? I know you’re not claiming it as your own, but your potential clients will think you did it, or even better, that you can do it EXACTLY like the picture. Ha ha, joke’s on you. 

Dear Facebook nail tech, it’s OK if you see a set of nails one of your friends posted, get some inspiration from it and try to copy it for your client. That is hugely flattering. But please, make an effort to at least tag that person or let them know they’ve inspired you. Don’t just post the picture of the nails without any mention of it. We’ve all seen the original set and we know you copied it. 

Dear Facebook nail tech, if someone posts on my wall asking me a specific question about a product I SELL or EDUCATE for, please do not come along and post how wonderful the products are that YOU SELL or EDUCATE with! That is beyond rude and I just want to smack your ass.

Dear Facebook nail tech, it’s OK if you inbox me privately to ask me about a specific technique or product. But when I take the time to provide you with the information you’re looking for, a simple ‘thank you’ would be nice. 

Trust me, it won't hurt my feelings at all if you go to another tech.  I literally have to rev myself up for your appointments because you utterly suck the life out of me.

Reader Submissions

Co-Worker:  It is obvious that you say things just to get a rise out of me and others.  We are on to you.  Stop it.  It’s annoying.

I love when I have to make an emergency supply run because someone was so inconsiderate to use the last of something and not tell anyone.

Quit using my stuff when I am not at the salon.

I am sorry that you had to go shopping and couldn’t make your appointment.  I am sorry I couldn’t fit you in until your next appointment in two weeks.  I am sorry that going four weeks doesn’t work for you.  I am sorry but that is a FULL SET not a fill.  Pay up.

If you call or text me on my day off one more time, so help me, I will return your call or text on Sunday morning at 4 am when I am coming home from the binger that you have forced me on.

Dear OPI, I am sick of your polish getting thick after two uses.  I am tired of flushing my hard earned money away buying your crap, but thanks to your millions in advertising, this is what the client wants.  Please improve your product.

Hey you, Facebook Toot My Own Horn Every Day Person.  You are not that great.  You are not that fabulous.  I am blocking you.

Why yes, it is really easy working on your nails while you eat a bag of chips.  Why would you think otherwise?

Is it really necessary to check your text messages or your FB feed every two seconds while I am trying to do your nails?  I hope your phone melts to your fingers, then you will always have your phone “handy”

Is it really necessary to reschedule one appointment seven times?  Are you really that busy?  Maybe you need to patronize one of those walk in salons from now on.

Your nail just popped off?  On it’s own?  With no help?  It just grew wings or just spontaneously combusted off of your nail bed?  Why do I see teeth marks?

Okay so Thursday at  1, 3 , 5 or 7 won’t work, Friday at 5 won’t work, Saturday at 2 won’t work.  When exactly WILL work for you?  Oh Monday???  When we are closed?  Sure, let me get right on that. 

To the client, who went to another tech, then bragged all over Facebook so I would see, I am so happy to see you a year later, in my chair, after you crawled back with your tail between your legs.

Dear Men:  Quit bitching about your wife getting her nails done, you spend more on beer and hunting supplies.

Please keep your Gay Man Drama Queen drama away from me.  It's getting old.

Follower Friday – Reader Submissions 1

We asked you to email us at nailtechtalk@yahoo.com with anything you would like to say anonymously.  Well you sure did!  Keep them coming!!

Co-worker-If I wanted to work around children I would have opened a damn daycare! Don't bring your kids to work!!!  - KW

Dear Employee – Please return your phone messages the day that you get them.  If you get one on Saturday morning that you do not return until Tuesday evening, don’t be surprised if you have lost that client.  – Fed up Boss

You want an appointment tomorrow at 5:00?  Well I want my ass to be small by then too and you see how that’s working out for me!  - WTF in Ohio

What part of WE ARE FULLY BOOKED do you not understand?  Would you like for me to kick someone out of my chair to accommodate you?  Better yet, let me go stand in the corner and magically crap out an appointment for you. – UNREAL in VA

Are you bleeding to death and this is the only number you can call for help, because that is the only reason we can come up with as to why you have called and hung up on voice mail ELEVEN times! – The PP

Hey you, yes you, all that glitter you are just throwing around……every little speck of it………….”I” have to clean up.  Stop it!!!  - The Janitor

I am so sorry that my vacation is an inconvenience to you, I guess you forgot about how YOUR vacation was not an inconvenience to me when I came in on MY DAY OFF to do your nails so that you could look great on your cruise!  - SHOCKED in CT

New Salon Policy – If you are going to bitch, moan and complain about something, you are no longer allowed to do so UNLESS you provide a solution to what you are bitching, moaning and complaining about.  – Sick of hearing it!

Yes, random man who is in the salon, we know it smells in here.  It is a nail salon, it smells like nail polish, just like a flower shop smells like flowers and a gas station smells like gas.  So, what’s your point? – Men are Stupid

Dear Client:  Please stop bringing me the awful pictures of nail art that you find on the internet.  Please allow me to be creative and create something amazing on your nails. – Sick of you wanting the Asian “whispies” design.

Hey rival copycat salon, “You’re Welcome” for all of the new business you are getting since we are booked solid and can’t take any more clients.  How’s it feel knowing you are second choice?  - The Divas

How much does it suck when you are brought a photo of our salon’s work for you to recreate.  I guess your clients have no faith in your work and I wonder what they think of the end result when you try to recreate it. – Ticked in TN