Friday, October 7, 2011

Reader Submissions 6

I think my co-worker needs to remind her children that Mommy is working and that they don’t need to call her every five minutes asking how to make macaroni and cheese.  15 phone calls in a three hour period is too much.  How does she keep her clients?

I tried to offer to write your appointment down on a card for you, you insisted on writing it down yourself, it’s not my fault you wrote down the wrong day.

Dear Client:  I love you, but seriously, you’ve been having distress over the same things for seven years.  It’s time to either suck it up or move on.  Grow a backbone, I am tired of hearing it!

Thank you smokers for littering my parking lot with your cigarette butts.  You lazy asses are too lazy to use the receptacle provided.

If you are so sick, that you need to stop your appointment to go throw up, you probably should have rescheduled your appointment.  You do realize that if “I” get sick, I don’t have sick days or pay…..

What part of wash your hands before we begin do you not understand?  You’ve been a client here for years.

Why do people think it’s okay to put full coffee cups into the trash?  Do you do that at home?  I would bet that your husband or father takes out the trash and is pissed off at you like I am because there is a sloppy wet coffee trail all over the floor.  Jerk.

Why do boyfriends come to nail appointments?  It’s obvious they don’t want to be there.  Grow a pair and insist that your girl go to her appointment alone like a big girl.

Screaming and yelling and throwing a hissy fit will no make an appointment time on the date and time you want just appear.  Actually, it will most likely make “future appointments” disappear.

Dear Client:  You’re fired.

You want appointments, you don’t, you whine that you aren’t busy enough then bitch because someone scheduled you an appointment.  Make up your freaking mind.

If you think this is so easy, go ahead, go out on your own and do your own thing.  I did.  No it’s not easy, but I won’t take your bullshit.  This is MY house!

Parents really need to reel these young girls in.  It is not necessary for your first grader to have a full set of acrylics.  At that rate, you will be getting them breast implants in fifth grade.  Grow a backbone and be a parent.  YOU are supposed to be in charge!

YOU insisted that I add more of the first color, now you don’t like it because there isn’t enough of the second color.  I do this all day long, when will you realize, I know what I am doing!!!

I really wish we had those alcohol dispensers like they have in motel rooms in Mexico, where the bottles hang upside down and you press your glass to a lever and it dispenses.  I think we need that in the break room, so we can just walk up, stick our mouths under, press the lever and get instant Asshole Relief!

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